Well, it's April. It is really April. It is April. Sorry to keep repeating myself but it's like a scary realization that the first year of law school is nearing its end. Before I know it I'll be in New York working for the summer. Then it will be fall and the class grind will start again. Saturday was admitted students day and I was giving tours, not going on a tour. I was suddenly the expert. Can you believe it? Well, I guess you can because you don't know the type of craziness 1L year entails, but whatever.
It's April and I just made my psychotic study schedule meant to get me finished with outlining a week before the first final. I will be studying about 18 hours a day during reading week. Torts, Contracts, Civil Procedure, Property. Monday through Friday. Non stop starting today. (le sigh)
Sometimes I wonder where my life went. I used to go out on weekends religiously. I was at Bridge Lounge in New Orleans drinking my raspberry mojito and complaining about the kids and their antics. I was at La Phare dancing the night away on Saturday or eating dinner at ridiculously delicious restaurants. Friends were friends of different occupations and we'd sit around to complain and laugh and plan out what we were going to wear for Zulu Ball. And when I was in New York... so amazing that I can't talk about i or I might burst into tears. And now what? Now I get to hope I can steal five minutes to complain to myself about how sick I am of reading about Products Liability and determining whether a plaintiff can intervene. I lift my hands to the sky, pray, scream, curse myself for this torture I have signed up for. Then I'm good and it's back to studying. Or I call T and we'll rant for about fifteen minutes. But once again, it ends.
Weekends are really weekend except to say that I don't have class and will get to study nonstop from 7am to 7pm. Somewhere in there I grab food, more chai, perhaps an espresso.
And then it's the day of the final and it's truly some strange rush of adrenaline akin to fight or flight and we all decide to fight and claw our way through a three hour typing frenzy. Exciting!
But I do still long for my personal time. I can't wait until May 11 when it's all over and I can try and find my place on a beach somewhere wearing my white bikini and getting sun-kissed all over. I might actually finish reading Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter which is taking me a remarkable two months to get through despite how good it is.
Okay, I'm going on and on, unfocused. Perhaps I'm still suffering from the jitters of the four cups of coffee I had last night before bed which had me so wired that I couldn't sleep until around 1:30. I stole some personal time then. I did read some more of the book. I wrote in my journal. I wished for a glass of wine, though I gave up alcohol for lent so water had to suffice. This is what will happen during finals as well. Some late night will suddenly turn into the personal time I wished for earlier. It will be unplanned, haphazard, and seemingly unwelcome until I'm in the middle of it and finding the anxiety of law school slip from my shoulders.
And it will be just another day for the girl next door.
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